Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Oak Park ranks in the top ten!

Oak Park makes the top ten!  Top ten snobbiest small cities, that is -- and Oak Park is the only one on the list that isn't near the east or west coast.

Oak Park isn't snobby in the sense of wealth or social class, but rather in a sort of politically correct farmers market gluten-free Whole Foods anti-Walmart raw-milk Lake Wobegon anti-vax helicopter parent hypocritical NIMBY greenwashing Range Rover my-other-car-is-a-Prius carbon offset way.

(These Are the Top 10 Snobbiest Small Cities in America, Movoto Real Estate blog)

Monday, June 30, 2014

Oak Park ain't Paris

In a feeble and obviously doomed attempt to emulate Paris, Oak Park has installed a chain-link fence along a sidewalk under the Green Line elevated train tracks, and is inviting couples to hang locks from the fence as a symbol of their "love and commitment," reports today's Chicago Tribune.

The proponent of the project says she hopes the result will be a beautiful piece of art.

Only in Oak Park would hundreds of abandoned padlocks hanging from a grimy chain-link fence under a dingy train track be considered an aesthetic improvement.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Canada invades Oak Park, holds referendum

Inspired by Russia's invasion of Crimea, Canada has dispatched thousands of troops to Oak Park and has scheduled a referendum on whether the village should secede from the United States.

Oak Park voters are divided on the issue, many believing that Canada is far too conservative for their tastes. Meanwhile, residents of nearby towns are jubilant about the prospect of secession.