Sunday, October 28, 2012

You didn't grow that!

The Oak Park Farmers Market recently suspended a vendor from Michigan after he disclosed that the organic apples he was selling weren't actually from his own farm. According to the Wednesday Journal, Walter Skibbe admitted that he had brought apples from a neighbor's farm because his own crop had been damaged by weather.

It's ironic how all those farmers drive their old pickup trucks containing a few bushels of bruised fruit from Michigan all the way to Oak Park and back every weekend, just so that the PC Oak Parkers can have their "locally grown" produce. Maybe their greenhouse gas emissions will bring us some global warming and improve next year's apple crops.

Friday, June 15, 2012

The Art of Oak Park

Oak Park recently launched a sculpture walk, featuring 12 works of art exhibited along village streets.  Unfortunately, we mixed up the photos of the sculptures actually on display in Oak Park with some other examples of fine public art.  Perhaps you can help us sort them out.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Oak Park's left-wing extremism causes car crashes

The Illinois Department of Transportation is proposing that the left-hand exits along the Eisenhower Expresssway through Oak Park be moved to the right-hand side, noting that left-hand exits have a much higher accident rate, reports today's Chicago Tribune. Unfortunately, IDOT plans to present the idea to Oak Park residents, who doubtless will shout it down, since Oak Park revels in its lefty eccentricities despite the burden they place on everyone else. Says one resident, "We're so liberal in Oak Park, we even exit on the left."

Monday, June 4, 2012

Confirmed: Oak Park is full of shit

Pigeon shit, that is.  "It's a problem. It's probably a health problem, and it's an appearance problem," says one village trustee. Village officials are considering euthanizing a roost of pigeons in downtown Oak Park to eliminate the birds' unsightly droppings, according to the Chicago Tribune.

Naturally, animal rights activists are already criticizing the idea. The proposed ordinance would also authorize extermination of starlings and sparrows. First they came for the pigeons...

(Photo: Journal)

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Only in Oak Park

The Chicago Tribune reports that Oak Park officials have approved plans for a high-rise apartment building.  The village code would have permitted 97 apartment units with 373 parking spaces, but village trustees voted to allow 270 apartments with only 288 parking spaces, hoping that the higher density would result in decreased auto ownership.

That's right -- they approved a huge apartment building with woefully inadequate parking facilities, in a downtown area that's already crippled by a severe parking shortage, because it will be even harder for people to own cars.