Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Oak Park's architectural integrity (cough, cough)

"Oak Park is losing its architectural integrity," laments a letter to the editor of the Wednesday Journal (11/24/15).

Nonsense! Just take a look at the architectural splendor that Oak Park has to offer.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

R.I.P. Tasty Dog

As Oak Parkites contemplate what the village micromanagers should do with the Tasty Dog site, we thought we'd throw a few ideas of our own into the lukewarm hot dog water ...

First, the obvious: another hot dog stand, but with a twist: vegan, cage-free, gluten-free tofu dogs.

In the interim before the new joint opens, how about a seasonal shop? Perhaps a holiday boutique with holiday decorations -- nothing Christmas-specific, mind you, so as not to offend the natives.

But why limit ourselves to the conventional? Let's go for something bold and different. A clothing shop, perhaps. Not another Lane Bryant, but maybe clothes for pets (no, wait; we've got one of those already). Or Unamerican Apparel. Or No-Men's Wearhouse. A hemp formalwear shop. Or a resale shop specializing in agender and gender-fluid articles.

A movie theatre, featuring foreign art films with foreign-language subtitles.

An e-book stand.

Wait, I've got it: Smug Shop, with everything the prototypical Oak Parker needs. "My other car is a Prius, too" bumper stickers. "Bernie 2020" campaign buttons. TVs and radios that receive only PBS and NPR. Bullhorns for drowning out unsafe speech.

The one thing we don't need? A gas station for our electric cars.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Oak Park bans mason jars, sparking hipster revolt

OK, Oak Park hasn't yet banned mason jars, but it wouldn't surprise us given the village's penchant for regulation.

Trends: Mason Jars (, 4/12/11)